what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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