yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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