she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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