my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
