Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
