You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
