the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
