Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
