Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
