We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
