I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
