ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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