He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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