even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
