My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
