she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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