fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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