I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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