You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
