sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
