im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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