I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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