Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
