I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
