I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
