We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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