If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I didn't notice because vodka
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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