Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
