I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize