chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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