Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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