I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize