After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
