I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Green mimosas i think yes
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
