this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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