I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
