i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
