Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
