I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
