I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
