She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
