Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
