You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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