is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
