I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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