I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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