Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
