haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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