My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
