I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
