Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize