we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
