I hate all girls vehemently.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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