he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
