i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
