i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
