All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
