he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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