I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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