i was born a porn star she said
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize