yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
