is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
