Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize