Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
