1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
