i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize