i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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