Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
