im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
