I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
